The Stories That Piss Me Off

Do you know what really makes me boil sometimes? Cliche stories. Cliche stories are everywhere. If you’ve ever happened to run through the site Wattpad.com, you would know how 13 year old prissy girls think and write. Apparently 10-13 year old girls don’t do what they normally do anymore – playing with makeup, watching shitty new Disney Channel shows, and all of that pre – teen shit. Now they apparently write x – rated fan fiction about One Direction and things they don’t even fucking know about. When I see a username such as “fuckmeharrystyles69” and your profile picture is an angelic 11 year old I have officially lost all faith in humanity. When you see in their writing a bunch of kinky crap, it’s either they secretly watch bad porn on RedTube or somebody told them things they shouldn’t know before the 5th grade (which was the age I was before I even knew what intercourse was.)

Aside from that, the stories they write are ALL the same. Every single one. I almost blindly guarantee it. They somehow meet the superstar, the superstar somehow picks them out from 30,000 screaming chicks, and then proceed to pursue them, the girl is from a “damaged” background and just might be scene, and they fall in love and frick frack. Descriptively. Multiple times. The end.

Another common trend that doesn’t have to do with superstars in stories, is the secretly – unhappy rich boy who has everything anybody could ever want, and he falls in love with someone who’s from a totally different background.

“He looked across the room, deep in thought. He had it all. Women coyly looked up at him, coquettish smiles displayed on their pretty feminine faces. His bank account easily held millions of dollars. His face reminded everyone of an Abercrombie Greek god because he’s like super freaking handsome.” 

I’m pretty sure I’ve seen that paragraph in one story. Or several. And – I just hate it. I really do. They make it sound like he’s not just some rich play boy, like he actually has feelings and emotional depth to him. Like, sorry sweetie but this boy is really just all he is on the surface mostlikely. The rich boy story is getting so old.

Don’t even get me started on the other stories. There’s also the story where the girl finally finds a guy, and her best friend (who is male) kisses her or something and she gets like totally “confused” and fucks things up worse than the average person would (I mean seriously, the best friend is usually way better than the other dude. Think Gale in The Hunger Games, even though I hate that movie/book. Gale is way better than shitty Peeta, no offense to defensive fans.)

Next story scenario? Girl falls in love with the bad boy. This is truly a tale as old as time, and never seems to go away. Girls can’t resist spontaneous hot danger who drives a cool vehicle and sports Greaser hair, I guess (or something like that.) It irritates me, but I can’t truly be upset about it because even I like the dangerous type like most. I mean, girls usually don’t like nice guys. I get it, they’re nice. Like dude, I know they’re kind, but that doesn’t suddenly make them mysterious, funny, interesting, or even attractive. I know I probably sound really snobby and mean, but you can’t buy a girls affection and attraction 90% or more by being nice. It doesn’t make up for anything. I actually like it when a guy treats me kind of mean. Like teasing almost. It’s stupid, but, I’m stupid. It’s just I like aggressive behavior. Whatever it is, it’s just kind of hot. If you’re too nice, you’re just… too nice.

The next story is probably the “50 Shades of Grey” thing, where they pretty much write the same thing except with other people. I’ve read half of the book (not my thing) but this trend is becoming too common. It’s another thing I see young girls write, and it honestly makes me puke in my mouth a little bit. The whole really kinky BDSM concept is just too much. No offense to those who actually do that stuff, that’s your own deal. I just don’t really favor seeing it written down on paper in a book that’s way too graphic. In a bad way.

Do you know what? I want to see a movie concept similar to Donnie Darko as a book. I love that movie, and if something like that could be put into a book, that would be great.

Finally done with my ranting, 

Mae

Advertisements