The Friendzone

Let’s all face it – we’ve heard this term over the internet and from friends plenty of times. It’s something that guys tend to complain about, like it’s a big driving force in their lives that stop them from getting laid.

I mean, come on, Jake. I’m there when she needs a hand to hold, and a shoulder to lean on. Why doesn’t she like me back, when I provide her emotional support and I’m nice to her all the time? I don’t get it at all.”

If Jake knows what the fuck he’s talking about, he’ll let you know that the “friendzone” is pretty simple. The definition as by Wikipedia, is “it refers to a platonic relationship wherein one person wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not.” It simply means that this poor girl doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. If she did, she might’ve taken the chance to devour your mouth while in teary hysteria over her douche-baggy-now-ex-boyfriend who cheated on her. And do you know what? People don’t particularly choose who they are attracted to, and in what way. Plus, it doesn’t go both ways; if someone is attracted to another, they don’t always feel the heat like you do down yonder (yes, I’m talking about the guy who really doesn’t want to keep it in his pants when it comes to his good friend.)

The point of this article? I don’t believe the “friendzone” truly exists. Do you know why that is? The non-complex knowledge that being someones shoulder to cry on doesn’t equal getting sex in return. If you’re trying to be nice to a girl, and care for her expecting her to open her legs for you – you’re a slimeball who didn’t deserve her in the first place. Not only that, but the “friendzone” is really just a lack of self-confidence in a male. Girls don’t like that much either, and you shouldn’t believe she’ll come crawling, guys. You have no idea how irritating this misconception is, and how it’s not a genuine issue. Not everyone will like you back, and you need to stop being selfish.

(sidenote: I’m quite happy I got this written out, it was wearing me down thinking about how ridiculous it is after a while.)

Your red-headed friend you can confide in,



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