The Shit I Do On a Saturday Night

A prime staple of the things I do out of boredom: painting my face to look like Gene Simmons from KISS (which, fun fact, KISS stands for Keep It Simple Stupid) is a normal occurrence in my weekend routine. The sad part of this is while my face was already painted white, I realized I had no black paint. So, being the waster I am, I sacrificed much of my eyeliner to create this 80’s Metal masterpiece. While my eyeliner is something I use every day for makeup purposes and painting my face like this was just an impulse, I realized I’m not very bright. If you know me, you know I love my eye makeup. 

Just something I felt like posting about because of my sad loss of my eye makeup,


P.S. I would’ve posted a photo, but I couldn’t find any decent ones.



Problems With Understanding Guys

Every girl has them at some point in their life, myself included. But for me – it’s different. My way of thinking a guy likes me or figuring out is blindly guessing, which is 99.9% of the time.

“He likes me, he likes me not. He likes me, he likes me not.”

That is literally my thought process most of the time, and I hope that I am not alone. I could sit all day wondering if a guy is even mildly interested. At first low self-confidence kicks in – “Why would he like me anyways if he does? I’m boring and have 20 extra pounds on me, yadda yadda.” Then after that, it’s sensing his movements. This is usually done by me keeping an eye on them when I am around them at almost all times, mostlikely looking like a tiger on the prowl, or something (I’ll admit I don’t look that cool.) Half the time they don’t notice, and i’ll probably be noticing everything they do. “He just adjusted his shirt. Okay, now he’s running his hands through his hair.” It never goes past sensing movements though.

Why you ask?

Because Mae is a big-ass pansy who refuses to make a move.

Maybe this is sprouted from insecurity? Maybe it’s from fear of rejection (which is pretty much the same thing)? I have no clue. Probably both. But hey! I’ve been working on my confidence lately, trying out small stuff before I dive into the whole thing.

One thing I want to get across in this post is my lack of – you guessed it – understanding guys.

This is how badly I understand them with my poor inner monologue:

“He’s looked at me like, 10 times within the past 2 minutes. Watson, I must be onto something.”

That whole thing pretty much sums me up. But yet, I have a knack for figuring out who likes who, and figuring out other peoples relationship problems and that sorta stuff. So if you need help? You can try emailing me, chica.

The girl who is horribly ignorant when it comes to men,




I love you People Who Don’t Conform

Am I the only person that seems to have a strong liking for sarcastic and harsh people? Maybe that’s why I keep watching Scott Pilgrim, Kim Pine’s misanthropic character is way too amusing to me. 

“If your life had a face, I would punch it.”

Way to pump up the great bundle of sunshine that is you, Kim.

I seriously become to attached to strong characters, and it gets even better if they secretly have major insecurities. Call me sadistic, but if a character isn’t insecure in one shape or form I don’t like them. Then they aren’t real. If they’re a big mess of tears whenever something doesn’t go the way they want, or they’re unrationally insecure and emotional, they are usually not my cup of tea. It’s just the strong characters, full of outward stability and courage of come sort, that are my role models. The ones who do their own thing, and are individuals who tend to fly solo, and not do what everyone else is doing. I was always the girl that wanted to be seen as tough, scary. I even tried to come off as a bit punk (it was an ugly stage of life for me, middle school) and it just blew up in my face. At this point in my life though, I’m kind of scary apparently without even trying. Maybe it’s my occasional Doc Martens, or my 5’8″/5’9″ stature? Who knows. But you people out there that are this sort of person naturally, and everything? Keep NOT conforming. That’s like putting a straight jacket on your self-identity and wings. 

Peace out fuckers,


The Friendzone

Let’s all face it – we’ve heard this term over the internet and from friends plenty of times. It’s something that guys tend to complain about, like it’s a big driving force in their lives that stop them from getting laid.

I mean, come on, Jake. I’m there when she needs a hand to hold, and a shoulder to lean on. Why doesn’t she like me back, when I provide her emotional support and I’m nice to her all the time? I don’t get it at all.”

If Jake knows what the fuck he’s talking about, he’ll let you know that the “friendzone” is pretty simple. The definition as by Wikipedia, is “it refers to a platonic relationship wherein one person wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not.” It simply means that this poor girl doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. If she did, she might’ve taken the chance to devour your mouth while in teary hysteria over her douche-baggy-now-ex-boyfriend who cheated on her. And do you know what? People don’t particularly choose who they are attracted to, and in what way. Plus, it doesn’t go both ways; if someone is attracted to another, they don’t always feel the heat like you do down yonder (yes, I’m talking about the guy who really doesn’t want to keep it in his pants when it comes to his good friend.)

The point of this article? I don’t believe the “friendzone” truly exists. Do you know why that is? The non-complex knowledge that being someones shoulder to cry on doesn’t equal getting sex in return. If you’re trying to be nice to a girl, and care for her expecting her to open her legs for you – you’re a slimeball who didn’t deserve her in the first place. Not only that, but the “friendzone” is really just a lack of self-confidence in a male. Girls don’t like that much either, and you shouldn’t believe she’ll come crawling, guys. You have no idea how irritating this misconception is, and how it’s not a genuine issue. Not everyone will like you back, and you need to stop being selfish.

(sidenote: I’m quite happy I got this written out, it was wearing me down thinking about how ridiculous it is after a while.)

Your red-headed friend you can confide in,